Duke Nukem Forever released into the wild; is confused

Good lord.

After over fourteen years in development hell, Duke Nukem Forever has finally stumbled onto shop shelves, asking if Bill Clinton is still president and why people mention cigars and start laughing every time the question is asked.

“But the Spice Girls are still together, right? Who’s that horse walking round with Prince Charles? Where’s Diana? What the hell’s an eye phone? What’s an Osama? The banks did what?!? Of course Pluto’s a goddamned planet! Three more Star Wars films – seriously? Are we still friends with Boris Yeltsin? The important thing is I’m still down with the kids in this outfit… right?”

Mr Nukem is 92.

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Written by Luke K

Luke plays lots of videogames, now and again stopping to write about them. He's the editor in chief at Critical Gamer, which fools him into thinking his life has some kind of value. Chances are, if you pick up a copy of the latest Official PlayStation Magazine or GamesMaster, you'll find something he's written in there. Luke doesn't have a short temper. If you suggest otherwise, he will punch you in the face.

One comment

  1. half_empty80 /

    Duke wanders off from the people that were laughing at him and catches his reflection in a shop window. “Damn, I’m looking good”

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