Tekken 7 marketing stoops to a new low

There’s a cold void in our hearts whenever we see things like this. 80’s celebrities are like null zones for self respect. Free of any allegations from “the good old days” of mainstream TV presenting, Keith “Cheggers” Chegwin and Timmy Mallet take to both the camera spotlight and the elaborate marketing stage to challenge each other at Tekken 7. You never saw it coming and, even after watching the above video, you still might not be sure if you saw anything at all.

It’s about as funny as “Yer Da” trying to impress your friends by being “real fly”. Like when he tells you it’s alright to smoke weed because he “was known as king of the doobies” back in his day. It’s too soon to use the fellow kids clip again; instead, why not watch the trailer and feel all your hope and joy disappear as it’s stripped from your being.

As for Tekken 7, we made a quick estimate at maybe 24 seconds (at most) of actual footage both on and off screen, so not enough to really get a good glimpse. It’s out now on PC, PS4, and Xbox One, so you can buy it in shops or through online stores; and surely the sooner the better, so you can generate as many new Tekken-related memories as possible to replace the ones from watching this video. Maybe it’s just not for us. Maybe they’re just a product of their time (like the black death or consumption).

PS. Hitman did something similar with the Chuckle Brothers but that was much better.

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Written by Sean P

I enjoy playing games and I enjoy writing things, so I decided to combine the two. I do bits here and there and have a twitter that mainly just announces things I've done as my life revolves around very little that is truly interesting.

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