• Format:3DS
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Nintendo
• Developer: Nintendo
• Players: 1
• Site: http://www.nintendo.co.uk

Wii based Galaxy titles have introduced a new level of inventiveness to the Mario formula; so how have Nintendo kept a balance between traditional 2D Mario gameplay, Galaxy style gameplay, and the 3DS’ form factor? Well, they have gone back to their roots for the core DNA. There are no open 3D areas to explore here. Instead think streamlined experiences with the gameplay of traditional 2D games, yet in full 3D with a degree of flexibility to experiment with route and method. Indeed the best comparison is the often overlooked ‘pure platforming’ type levels which were a minor part (but the best sections) of Super Mario Sunshine back on the Gamecube.

This style of gameplay suits the screen size of the 3DS perfectly. With the 3D effect turned up, it’s like looking into a little box of Mario (hence making the Mario land in the title quite apt). The fact that the levels are clearly linear and constrained means it’s like having a little Mario play-set to run around in, there in the palm of your hand. It is rather beautiful in our opinion with bright hues and well rendered characters, platforms and backgrounds.

The gameplay and level variety do not disappoint. As with other franchises, such as Mario Kart, Nintendo seems to know how to add just enough to move the series on, without alienating seasoned veterans. You would have thought that when it comes to platforms we would have seen them all, from all angles; but Nintendo keeps finding new ways of making the old seem new. As with Galaxy, the levels are abstract, with settings such as underwater or firepits, with moving platforms with forward and backward triggers which Mario can control. There is a superb level which is based on old 8 bit, pixelated graphics which uses cannons to propel Mario between different faces and designs made out of these 8 bit blocks. You kinda have to see them to believe them.

Clearly inspired by its 2D bretheren but with added depth....

Some levels are very 2D in design, but rendered in 3D. However they are true 3D and you can move Mario to the foreground or background of the levels, often finding alternative horizontals paths, in a fashion similar to how story levels are constructed in LittleBigPlanet. Mario, though, controls much better than Sackboy and the addition of real 3D allows you to judge the depth much easier. However some levels are clearly influenced by games such as Galaxy, with different areas to progress to, free standing and floating in the air. Whichever level you are on though it is a linear playthrough from one end to another as there are no ‘get the star’ targets here. You start at one end and have to reach the flag at the other, just like with the 2D games we love so dearly.

Throughout the game, Mario will be able to slip on various suits which give the type of superpowers we have become accustomed to over the years such as fireballs, boomerangs – and for 3D Land we see the comeback of the Tanooki suit! The Tanooki suit allows the player to hover in the air for a bit (very useful for all this platforming) and kill enemies with a flick of Mario’s Tanooki tail. Beware, though, as this time the enemies get their own Tanooki suit to use against you! Two suits can be carried at once, and by touching an icon on the bottom screen you can easily switch between them.

The first eight worlds are great and they are super accessible. If you keep failing you’ll get given a super suit that essentially means you can’t be killed. Great for beginners and the experienced alike, to wean them onto the difficulty which kicks in once the main quest is over.

That’s right, the game keeps giving. Once the main quest is complete, another eight worlds appear, with a remix of levels made harder and not coming with any special ‘I can’t be killed’ suits to help you out. Each level comes with three gold coins which need collecting to unlock new levels (and also act as a reason to replay levels for the completists amongst us), whilst the spotpass feature means you end up competing on best times against other 3DS users you might have bumped into via other games such as Mario Kart 7. It’s a great shame Nintendo didn’t go the whole way and offer public leaderboards.

It’s also a shame the game doesn’t offer any multiplayer mode whatsoever. New Super Mario Bros on the DS had a quite compelling coin collecting competition going, and so did the DS remake of Mario 64. However 3D Land has nothing, when an online mode would have added even more replay value.

With the 3D turned up, this looks lovely.

Whilst we feel content to make suggestions regarding what is missing in this review, please don’t confuse that with our actual view on the title. It is excellent. It is better than New Super Mario Brothers on the DS, in that it offers a real difficulty curve for experienced players, and way more replay value. It looks lovely, and the levels delight in their ingenuity whilst the 3D makes a tangible difference to how you experience the game, with some simple puzzle elements being easier to solve with the 3D on rather than off. There is also a nice variety of special suits, as you would expect in a Mario game, which add a degree of strategy and gameplay variation to how you might approach different levels.

Nintendo has shown once again that a proper Mario title is not just a cynical way of printing money, but is a franchise that justifies its greatness time and time again with each release.

Get it now.

• Format: PC (version reviewed), Mac, PSN, XBLA
  
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Lace Mamba Global/Focus Home Interactive, Atlus
• Developer: Frozenbyte
• Players: 1 – 3
• Site: www.trine2.com

Having a knight, a wizard and a thief simultaneously adventuring together seems like a fairly reasonable Halloween costume line-up or an unspecialised MMO raid party. It also sounds like the most obvious cast for a side-scrolling adventure game. In 2009, Frozenbyte struck the hearts of many with their game Trine that perfected this seemingly obvious formula. Two years on and they have made a sequel, but does it live up to the original game’s charm? If you just want this review in its simplest form, the answer is an absolutely corking “Yes and more.”

If you missed the first game then we’ll recap. It all started when a wizard, thief and knight touched an artefact called the Trine. It bound their souls together and sent them on an adventure. Part of being Trine-bound meant that players could instantly switch between characters to overcome certain puzzles and obstacles. The wizard conjures physical objects into existence and levitates them, the thief is highly mobile with her grappling hook and the knight is proficient at bludgeoning nasties to death. This aspect has not changed at all in Trine 2.

The knight makes short work of goblins but can't solve puzzles unless they involve a good bashing.

What has changed are a number of features from the original game that have been chopped to make the experience flow more smoothly. The inventory and special items have completely disappeared. You can no longer give specific characters benefits like unlimited air underwater or extra health with random trinkets. The only collectible items are experience orbs, poems and pieces of concept art. Characters no longer have an energy reserve either, meaning there is no penalty to constantly using fire arrows or spamming an area with summoned cubes and planks. This streamlining makes the game a lot easier to pick up and encourages experimentation and using abilities, instead of punishing overzealous use. It makes the game a lot more fun.

Puzzles are usually a case of navigating tricky terrain to get from the left side of the screen to the right, with the occasional door mechanism or gaping pit thrown in for good will. Whilst this might sound quite samey, each situation feels unique and can require some real brain power to solve. The one downside we found was the overreliance on the wizard and his block conjuring abilities. Summoning physical stepping stones into the world was always the most obvious (and in many cases only) way to get through most tricky areas. The thief can get herself through some situations with her grapple; but the knight seems fairly useless outside of combat or tasks that involve breaking things. That is of course the knight’s function, but we found ourselves puzzling and platforming a lot more than we were fighting.

Joining the improved mechanics are the gloriously designed environments. Level design remains as fiendish as ever, with several puzzles making you um and ah for minutes before the necessary element snaps in your brain and you discover the solution. Couple this with beautiful scenery and animated 3D backgrounds that are genuinely awe inspiring and you get a visual treat that even the fussiest of graphic grinches can’t grumble about.

And you thought the dragons in Skyrim were big...

The excellent presentation doesn’t stop at the amazing graphics; just about everything you experience serves as an immersive influence that compels you to play. Trine 2 feels like an interactive fairy tale that caters to everyone. The narrator tells the story as you go along and each character occasionally chirps in with their own bits of quirky dialogue. These serve to advance the story, but also provide the player with hints should you find yourself staring at the same chasm or sealed door for long enough.

The major new feature in Trine 2 is online multiplayer. The original game only allowed local co-op play, but the sequel has now opened the floodgates to the scary wide world of the Internet. Use the server browser or jump into a quick match though matchmaking to drop into the main adventure with up to two other players. Having three people tackle the puzzles and goblin ambush attempts is a fantastic experience and unlike the majority of current online games out there.

Multiplayer can also make it much easier in places, and it almost feels like cheating. There are so many occasions in singleplayer that will leave you thinking “This would be much easier with another person helping.” If you can trust yourself not to simply levitate your teammates on a wizard plank to the other side of the problem and then wait for the game to respawn you with them then online is a real laugh. Even if you do decide to cheat the game a little bit, it is very fun and a joy to play. You will giggle every time someone accidently summons a cube above you that thwarts your heroic jump attempt.

Stand on the knight's shield in multiplayer for a cheeky leg up.

Local multiplayer is also very well implemented. Good support like this is to be expected on consoles, but even the PC has brilliant local play capabilities. You don’t even need a set of spare USB gamepads to play on the same PC. The game supports multiple mice and keyboards which works brilliantly, if you can find the space to use them. It took us a slight fiddle in the game options to get it all working, but it wasn’t a huge feat and definitely worth the effort.

Trine 2 is an incredible game and easily tops the brilliant original. It is a charming adventure that can appeal to a very wide audience, but at the same time does not compromise on the challenge with several brilliant physics and platform based puzzles in the mixture. The boxed collector’s edition even comes with an artbook, original soundtrack and a copy of Trine 1. If you like your swords and spells applied to side scrolling adventures then it doesn’t get much better than this. Likewise, if you’re looking for an adventure game that is easy to get into and great fun to play, Trine 2 will not disappoint.

• Format: XBLA
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Hello Games
• Developer: Hello Games
• Players: 1-2 (offline only)
• Site: http://www.hellogames.org/

The modern gamer’s Pavlovian response to bright colours and relentless smiles is a sneer and a derogatory comment. Should such a young whipper-snapper pluck up the courage to give this game a go, however – which they really, really should – within five minutes they’ll be wearing a grin goofier than that of Joe himself.

As has been declared before, Critical Gamer’s official genre for Joe Danger games is ‘raplunter’ (racer/platformer/stunter). Though Joe is a stuntman, he acts more like the illegitimate offspring of Mario and Sonic. The racing element is clear; he’s on a motorbike after all, and a handful of levels feature other racers who must be beaten to the finish line. Many of the levels without opponents have optional time limits to beat. What will likely surprise those unfamiliar with this game is that it’s much closer to a traditional side-scrolling platformer than it is to a side-scrolling racer.

There is a jump button. You will use this a lot. Not only are there hazards on the track, there are extra long/high jumps to be made; sometimes in conjunction with – yes – your double-jump, or one of the many springs dotted throughout the game. Another element taken from old-school platformers is collectibles; yet another element pickups that, once activated, only stay in the level for a limited time.

That’s not to say that Joe’s stuntman status is ignored. Far from it. His boost bar, essential for certain jumps and all races, can only be used when full – and can only be replenished by performing stunts. You will therefore find yourself pulling wheelies on the ground and performing various tricks in the air, desperate to fill your boost bar in time for the next boost-demanding section. Some stars require you to constantly stunt your way through the level from start to finish.

Ah, the stars. While getting from start to finish in each level is usually quite simple, meeting the requirements for all the stars – used as currency to buy access to most of the levels – is much less so. Some events have just one or two stars to win, while others have half a dozen or more. You can earn stars by picking up all collectibles, hitting every target in a level, beating the time limit, beating the time limit and picking up all the collectibles, finding hidden stars within the track, and more. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? It is – and this is why you’ll play this game again and again and again.

The controls are little more than forward, reverse, boost and duck (hold to crouch, release to jump), with mid-air steering possible. This game is old-school in all the ways it should be. With no convoluted plot, expensive cutscenes, gun-porn weapons roster or celebrity involvement, it relies on good ol’ gameplay. In fact, it relies heavily on trial and error; like Dark Souls, only much more fun and infinitely more fair. The first time you play a track, you’ll come across a hazard and/or relentlessly demanding course of duck/jump/boost/switch lanes that you’ll almost certainly fluff and crash (this is an instant death game). Certain events will see you fail time after time, yet you’ll carry on and love every second.

Why? Because you can see it’s doable, if only you can be good enough (and you can instantly restart at any time). Because you want to grab every star the game has to offer, even if you’re the only one who’ll ever know. Because you want to earn five stars in one run because it’ll look cool. And when you still haven’t managed to get the star for collecting all the coins and beating the time limit after the 53rd attempt, you’ll finally leave it for later because you can’t wait any longer to see the next beautifully designed level. Because you’re having so much damn fun.

What does the Special Edition bring to the table? Well most significantly there’s a generous dollop of new levels, a big chunk of which are immediately accessible in ‘The Laboratory’ (which is also a new background for the excellent level editor). While brilliant fun, most are perhaps a little too easy for Joe Danger veterans. That final assault course in The Lab though… evil incarnate. In an unstoppably addictive way.

Of equal interest are the ‘Pro Medals’. A total of twenty five of the game’s events have one of these to hand out to those who can earn all of the level’s stars in one run. The more of these medals you earn the more you unlock, such as extra characters (including the ones available as paid DLC for the PSN release) and, teasingly, content in “future Hello Games titles” (that’ll be Joe Danger: The Movie then). Want a complete Joe Danger outfit for your avatar? You need only collect a complete set of D-A-N-G-E-R pickups a few times. Result! Loading times are also shorter, and mumblemumble anti-aliasing mumblemumble.

Unfortunately, the few improvements the game needs are, it seems, being held back for the sequel. Joe Danger is ideally suited to splitscreen play, but online modes would have been more than welcome. There’s still no LittleBigPlanet style community of user content, either; you can swap levels you’ve made with people on your friends list, and that’s it. At time of writing, it’s actually missing the PS3 version’s ability to save replays and upload them to YouTube.

If you have a 360 connected to the internet and you’ve never played Joe Danger, download this game immediately lest we lose all respect for you. Is it worth buying for those who own the PSN release? Tough call; if you played through once and never went back, then probably not. If you fell in love with it the way we did however, this is the perfect excuse to do it all over again – with Pro Medals and some brand new levels to fight with being the sort of bonuses that make grown men say “squeeee!”.

• Format: PS3 (version reviewed), 360, PC, Wii
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Activision
• Developer: Infinity Ward, Sledgehammer Games
• Players: 1-18
• Site: http://www.callofduty.com/mw3

Call of Duty is a peculiar series. Each year it shifts millions of copies and is greeted with near unanimous critical praise, yet it also attracts a special kind of hatred from a vocal segment of the gaming community that consider it a microcosm of everything that is wrong with modern gaming.  If Call of Duty is to be an acquired taste, then with Modern Warfare 3 it’s one that is more refined than ever.

The singleplayer campaign is exactly what we have come to expect from Modern Warfare: a relatively short rollercoaster ride, punctuated by memorable set pieces. The narrative doesn’t quite reach the heights of the original Modern Warfare, but it succeeds in telling an engaging story which revisits familiar characters like Captain Price, Soap and villain extraordinaire Makarov. It’s fun controlling these violent men, but war is never glorified in a dark tale that focuses on a bleak near-future, where life is cheap and atrocities par for the course.

There is a lot of jumping around between various playable characters, especially in the early stages; but the narrative is far more coherent than Modern Warfare 2, though no less outrageous. Characters are better linked and relationships more clearly defined, though those new to the series may struggle to keep abreast of who’s killing who, and why exactly they are at each other’s throats.

The supporting cast is still full of generic characters who spout the kind of hoo-ra gibberish that might have you eyeing the mute button, but the perfectly paced plot and tight combat makes you more forgiving of these caricatures, as does an outstanding final third where every loose end is tied up. Aside from the ludicrous and ill-fitting death quotes that do their best to kill the atmosphere, it is otherwise an immersive experience throughout.

The campaign clocks in at a lean five hours, though it feels about right, as the spectacle would be in danger of losing some of its lustre were it a more prolonged experience. A great deal is packed into those hours, as you find yourself speeding through the streets of Paris in an old fashioned car chase and even storming a skyscraper fortress dressed like Robocop. With moments like these, Infinity Ward have proven yet again that they know exactly how to create the most polished and exciting kind of singleplayer, FPS experience.

Once you have finished with the campaign, MW3 nudges you towards the Special Ops mode; a welcome return from Modern Warfare 2 that significantly extends the game’s shelf life. This collection of 16 short-burst missions may be enjoyed alone or in co-op, and are great to dip in and out of. In answer to Treyarch’s popular Nazi Zombies, a survival mode has been introduced where you must outlast countless waves of enemies spread across surprisingly spacious maps, either on your lonesome or with a friend. Despite offering 100% less rotting fascists, it’s still fairly entertaining, though in comparison to the riches found elsewhere on the disc it will probably be of limited appeal.

Competitive multiplayer is better than ever before, thanks to a number of new editions that tweak the existing formula, as well as the new Elite service. An impressive sixteen levels are on offer, some better than others, from tight corridors to more cavernous settings that play host to the bigger matches on the playlist. All the standard deathmatch and objective based modes are present, alongside the welcome edition of Kill Confirmed – a brilliant team deathmatch variant where you must collect dog tags from your vanquished foes to score, an objective that discourages camping and rewards exciting and risky dashes for precious shinies.

Pointstreaks replace the killstreaks of old and offer a more nuanced set of rewards to support every kind of player. Completing objectives as well as racking up kills will contribute to any one of three streak types. The Assault package is most like the killstreaks of old; the Support set awards bonuses that benefit your team more directly, and your kill count does not reset when you die; and finally the Specialist option is best suited to more advanced players who are able to string together murderous rampages without croaking, offering stackable perks that make you more powerful the longer you survive. This restructuring makes a huge difference and rewards players who don’t only play for kill counts, as well as opening up more impressive perks to players of all abilities.

With the notable exception of a much desired mute-all button, Modern Warfare 3 is arguably the most feature rich and well-rounded FPS multiplayer around. Alongside the excellent campaign and the addition of Special Ops and Survival mode, it is an exhaustive package that will keep the fanbase more than happy and the naysayers spitting venom until next November rolls around. Sounds like business as usual then.

• Format:PSP and PS3 Mini
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Tower Studios
• Developer: Vivid Games
• Players: 1
• Site: http://www.tower-studios.co.uk/

Do not dismiss this game because you have not got a PSP or do not use your PSP. Why? It’ll work on the PS3 and up and coming PS Vita. And why is it so important we bring this to your attention? Because this game is great, amazing value, and possibly the first PSN Mini which is a must have. Seriously. We’ll set out the argument below.

As with the IOs version the original metallic palette has been considerably brightened up.

If you recall we have already reviewed this game for iOS devices, and we gave it a ‘safe’ 7/10 score. It was the same great game of Speedball 2 that we could remember, but somehow some of the atmosphere seemed left behind and this was acerbated by a poor man’s compromise between tilt controls and a touch screen virtual joystick. For all the criticism the PSP has received over the years about only having one thumb stick, it is ironic that near the end of its lifecycle it receives a game that was designed for only one thumb stick! This was originally an Amiga game, and that platform utilised joysticks, which mainly only had one fire button and one simple control stick. The PSP is in its element here, and the game equally plays well on the PS3 (more on that later).

Speedball 2 is rugby, handball and Australian Rules Football combined in a future setting. It’s faced paced, and it involves scoring points in multiple ways. Methods of scoring include throwing the ball into the opposition’s goal, bouncing it off mechanisms in the field of play, or just by knocking out opposition players.

The graphics are sharp and the sound is as good as we remember on the Amiga, and seems to have been sharpened up a little; but that might just be psychological. Either way the presentation is excellent, with clear menus and updated graphics for team selection, and the whole package is very high quality.

Updated Menus make the game more accessible and smarter for 2011

The game has no multiplayer mode which is a real let down, but which is a problem with the Mini format, used to get this game to market. Multiplayer Speedball 2 would be amazing over PSN, and perhaps if this Mini does well Sony might be encouraged to request an upgraded PS Vita/PS3 version which is a full PSN release. What the game does offer is a full ten season career mode, a quick match mode and a challenge mode (which is really the career mode broken down into its individual elements). Additionally the game comes with its own form of achievements and trophies encouraging different styles of play.

In our previous review we had discussed the little known fact that there was a version on the GBA. We thought that it was a near perfect conversion of the game. The iOS version seemed a step back from that, but this PSN Mini version is a step in the right direction. We dug out our coveted GBA conversion (which is almost identical to the Amiga in every way) and overall we can say that this is an improvement on the original! The only two remaining issues are the already mentioned lack of multiplayer and that compared to the original, the characters don’t always seemed to be connected to the floor when running. This might simply be an illusion caused by a wider range of colours being used in the newest build; or it’s because the player animations have been tampered with, leaving an undesired effect visible to the player.

We really can’t stop emphasising how this game really suits this gaming platform. It is not just player movement which is far more fluid, but in addition the ability to curve the ball is given extra refinement with the implementation of proper analogue control.

Speedball has always been a great concept, and the original developers, The Bitmap Brothers, struck upon a timeless gem. The iOS version is still very good; but if you have a PSP lying about and/or a PS3 this is a must have download. Most PSN Minis are throwaway titles, but this will keep you coming back and back for a quick fix. The game looks just fine on the PS3 (a higher res build would be lovely, but this will suffice), unlike many Minis which don’t scale that nicely to a large HD screen.

If you want a hard hitting, addictive sports game which gives instant gratification get this now. Heck it’s only £2.49, which is less than the IOs version. Hopefully if enough of us get it Sony will see fit to commission a full PSN release with multiplayer, both local and online.

• Format: PS3 (PlayStation Move required)
  
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
• Developer: Sony London Studio
• Players: 1-20
• Site: http://uk.playstation.com/dancestarparty/

It had to happen, really. Having all but dominated the karaoke genre with its SingStar series, Sony’s London Studio has moved into the lucrative market of games that encourage – nay, demand – people to dance at their televisions. Lacking the arguably ideal tech of Kinect, the traditional dance mat option has here been ignored in favour of PlayStation Move.

The idea of a dancing game relying on a peripheral held in one hand is rather bizarre; but that hasn’t stopped a legion of games using a similar system infecting the Wii. A crucial difference here of course is the presence of the PlayStation Eye camera which, it seems safe to presume, does some of the motion tracking. Kung-Fu Live proved that it’s capable of aping Kinect to a degree; and while it’s hard to judge the accuracy of the motion tracking while you’re busy making a prat of yourself by dancing by the window, it does seem that how close you are (or are not) sticking with the on-screen actions is monitored very well.

One of the first things which ensures DanceStar Party stands out from any other dancing game we’ve come across is the on-screen dancers. That’s dancers as in real people. Watching a real person in the centre of the screen (in black and white, holding a Move controller for clarity) dance is much, much better than trying to copy a silhouette or CG model, as every nuance of every move is as clear as possible. The music video plays in a small box to your left (you can swap this for a stream of your performance if you really have to), and to the right static illustrations give you a warning of a second or so before each new position or dance move.

Oh my! This hat is so jolly comfortable!

Each song has a normal and short length, and a star rating according to how much energy you’ll need to put in. You can also choose from Beginner, Intermediate and Professional difficulties for each song but, frankly, if you’re not going to go straight for Professional for maximum kudos/embarrassment what’s the point? One and two star performance ratings ahoy, yes; but when you manage a four or even five star rating, you really feel like you damn well earned it.

While each of the 40 songs is accompanied by the official music video (with more already available in the Store), the dances – confusingly – don’t always match up with the performances therein. Each of the dancers is infuratingly talented, and the dances never less than professional. While all seems as it should be for the Macarena (yes, really) and – ye gods – New Kids On The Block, the dance for ‘Born This Way’ by Lady Gaga (for example) doesn’t seem to be what her backing dancers are doing.

The tracklist isn’t a non-stop retro cheesefest; rather, there’s a pleasing variety in there. Modern choons from the likes of Tinie Tempha, Jessie J, Duck Sauce, and OK Go sit alongside inoffensive disco background music like Elton John, Kool & The Gang, and SNAP! (who would have us believe that they do indeed have the power).

Naturally, you can dance with or against other people – if you have the space and the funds. The game won’t even attempt to support another dancer without a second (and third, fourth etc) Move controller, which is disappointing – and potentially expensive. Apparently up to 20 players are supported. Without millions of pounds for 20 Move controllers, a huge TV and a mansion with massive rooms, we weren’t able to test this out. You can’t have an online danceoff, sadly, though you can – if you’re confident/brave/stupid enough – upload pictures and videos of yourself to the community, or even Twitter/Facebook, for others to enjoy or laugh at and rate. The PS Eye demands very good light for a good picture, though.

You can trick the game into allowing two people to play together if you dive into the options and enable singing. Yes, you can dance and sing at the same time should you so desire; would you expect anything else from the team which brought us SingStar? Your dancing will still be rated from 0-5 stars, and your singing with a simple phrase (OK singing, Cool singing, etc). The PS Eye microphone seems to pick up your voice quite well, but you can use a microphone or headset instead if you want. Hand a microphone to a friend or loved one while you handle the dancing, and you can pretend you’re some kind of hideously fascinating singing/dancing duo auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent.

I only asked if you knew what time the post office opens.

Dance Studio allows you to create and save your own dance routines for any songs that you have. Instead of the professional performer, you’ll see your saved performance play in a box on the right of the screen. There’s no attempt to create illustrations to help guide anybody trying to use your unique interpretation, but it’s a neat idea – especially as it makes a decent attempt at monitoring and scoring performances.

The ‘workout’ is basically a predetermined set of playlists that asks for your height and weight, then gives you a figure for how many calories it reckons you’ve burned at the end depending on how well you did. Again, a nice idea, and a fun way to keep fit (if you like that sort of thing). ‘Dance Class’ is a very well done practice mode, which breaks each song down into several sections. You try each section out four times in a row at your leisure, and proves to be a very useful tool.

While there’s still room for improvement, this is a dance game crammed full of features and great ideas that combine to make it the best currently available on the market. Best of all it’s pretty cheap, with many online retailers selling it for less than £20. If you have Move and a penchant for dance games, this is an essential purchase.

• Format: 360 (version reviewed), PS3, PC
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
• Developer: Rocksteady Studios
• Players: 1
• Site: http://www.community.batmanarkhamcity.com

In 2009 the gaming world was surprised by Rocksteady Studio’s Batman: Arkham Asylum, quite possibly the first game themed around the dark knight’s exploits to be loved on a mass scale; and for many, it was the best thing released that year. It’s a big ask to try and not only recreate that level of success but surpass it, but Rocksteady are back with the direct sequel to try. Set a year after the events of Arkham Asylum, things are still not going well for Gotham City. The slums of the city have been walled off and turned into one large prison in which former asylum inmates and criminals are left to bicker amongst themselves under the watchful eye of Hugo Strange and his Tyger security force.

The game begins with Bruce Wayne attempting to seek the closure of Arkham City through political means, which results in his unlawful incarceration within its walls. Becoming Batman, he then sets about righting all the wrongs of the prison in a large free-roaming area dealing with past villains (and plenty of new ones along the way) while the Joker plots in his funhouse and Strange levies the fact he knows Batman’s true identity.

While it certainly pays off to have played Arkham Asylum, it is not a necessity to get into or enjoy the game. Interest or vague knowledge of the source material certainly helps though as Rocksteady constantly dangle references or nods or even direct links to plots from some of the best known comic book storylines that fans will greatly appreciate.

The free flowing combat system returns which balances counters, evades and strikes with brutal take-downs for when stealth is not an option. While it can be a little tricky to get to grips with for beginners, a few brawls down the line you will be raking up combos with deadly proficiency and shrugging when the game throws you up against a room with fifteen or more opponents. It can be strangely addictive to find brawls to get into around the city, simply because of how free it feels for what is essentially at its core a more complicated button mashing system.

Equally addictive is the returning stealth element. The game balances out areas where you are fighting off dozens of unarmed opponents with areas where going loud will just get you quickly gunned down. In a move which far more sequels should follow, Rocksteady also grants the player most of the gadgets Batman ended the first game with giving you variety to tackle each situation with from the get go. There is still a levelling system to unlock the more complex take-downs or upgraded armour and new gadgets, with most actions rewarding the player as they progress.

It can be a little daunting grappling and gliding around the city as along with the reasonably lengthy main storyline, there are numerous multi-part side quests and literally hundreds of Riddler puzzles and riddles to solve. You aren’t forced to do any of the side content, it’s all just there to distract you as you go. It’s very hard to ignore, but at the same time seeing where the story will go next remains a powerful draw and culminates in perhaps the first example of a conclusion that will elicit sympathy for someone with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

A sticking point in Arkham Asylum was the Detective Vision mode which let the player see through walls, and also identified threats and points of interest. It was simply too good and resulted in having it on nearly all the time which meant the impressive scenery was a constant flushed pale blue. For some the same may be said for Arkham City and some players will find themselves rarely turning it off except for brawls.

Music and most of the voice acting are exceptionally high standard. Kevin Conroy puts in yet another great performance as Batman and Mark Hamill’s Joker is unmatched. Corey Burton’s Strange is suitably sinister and Troy Baker’s Two-Face decent enough. In an amazing achievement, Nolan North has found a different voice he can make when voicing a game character and lends it to Penguin which is to be applauded – at least until you find he lazily uses his only other voice for most of the random thugs you will be beating up.

The game also allows first hand purchasers (or second-hand if they buy the pass) to play four fairly short sections as Catwoman with her story running into Batman’s at numerous points. These little asides offer yet another story the city has to tell, and give a bit of variety as her gadgets and movements are unique to her and upon finishing the game you can actively switch between them both to collect her own series of Riddler trophies.

The game isn’t without some faults though. Enemies still glide instantly along the floor to strike you if they are upright while you attempt a ground take down, loading checkpoints is overly long even with an install, there appears to be one rather large plot hole, and we experienced very occasional sound hiccups. These are all small criticisms though.

It was never going to be easy following on from such a huge success but, for the most part, Rocksteady have achieved it. Even ignoring all the content in the main campaign there are dozens of challenge maps, predator maps and mini-campaigns to tackle with numerous characters as well as hundreds of unlockables (concept art, figures, back-story, etc.) making it one of the fullest games on offer in recent times that will give fans everything they want, and has enough solid core mechanics and content to appeal to almost everyone else. Arkham City is a credible contender for game of the year.

• Format: PC
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Lace Mamba Global
• Developer: Team Meat
• Players: 1
• Site: http://supermeatboy.com/

Super Meat Boy is not suitable for children. Even if you ignore the fact that the protagonist is a wedge of meat that leaves blood absolutely everywhere, each bout of your failure induced swearing would be enough to make Gordon Ramsay sad inside. It started life as a challenging Flash game and then got promoted to a fully-fledged indie title for download. Now, Lace Mamba Global have put it in a box that can be purchased with paper money.

Boxed copies of formerly download only titles are usually reserved for those who don’t like squeezing their games down restrictive Internet pipes. They come at a slight price premium but usually allow you to install the game without the need to be online. However, the retail exclusive Super Meat Boy Ultra Edition does not come with this luxury and still needs to be validated by Steam. So what does this game gain from being in a box?

This is what you get in the box, displayed on a beautiful wooden plank effect backdrop.

Apart from allowing you to physically hold the game for the first time, the Ultra Edition comes with several neat extras, including a poster and a 40 page comic. The poster is double sided but could do with an ironing before it goes on your wall due to the multiple creases caused by the standard sized DVD box. It’s a nice enough poster, but we can’t help but feel its compact delivery system has spoiled it a bit. We appreciate that a roll would not fit in the same neat package, but it would preserve it better and not give it the distinct fold pattern of an Ordnance Survey map.

Making up for the slightly disappointing poster is the truly brilliant comic book. Held inside the case where you would expect to find the manual, the comic is a mish mash of sketches, story panels and background information on the game and characters. It is genuinely laugh out loud funny and a great addition that is definitely worthy of a physical existence. You need to see it for yourself to truly appreciate it, but a digital copy would not have done the material within the comic the justice it deserves.

Several nuggets of awesome are also nestled on the game’s disc and would be very easy to overlook if you just used it for the one time installation on Steam. There are development photos, character art, wallpapers, sound effects and the game’s soundtrack. It’s a treasure trove of game resources that you don’t get with lots of games. There’s even box nets that you can cut out and fix together to assemble your very own Meat Boy or Dr Fetus. That’s the exclusive Ultra Edition content covered, but how about the game itself?

Those sharp pointy discs spin. We don't recommend you touch them.

The basic idea of Super Meat Boy is to guide the meaty protagonist to his beloved Bandage Girl whilst avoiding a series of pointy, whirring and generally nasty hazards. Each level is relatively short and usually possible to solve in seconds with the right combination of sprints, jumps and wall jumps. It sounds deceptively simple, but this game is hard. You will meet a gooey and frustrating end frequently, often just millimetres from the end of a level, and suddenly arrive back at the beginning. Fortunately you have an infinite number of lives and you respawn instantly so you can have another – probably feeble – attempt straight away. This instant ‘try again’ mechanic works well and feeds the ‘one more try’ vibe that keeps you playing. The pursuit of victory gets very addictive and you will give yourself blisters trying to complete each hazard spewing level.

Super Meat Boy is like wooden chewing gum. Each mulch in your mouth will probably give you splinters, yet you will feel compelled to keep chewing until you get tired of the flavour. Every 20 levels or so results in a new world which instantly changes the flavour with new environments and hazards, meaning you won’t get bored of the same repeated elements. The climax of each world is a unique boss fight that is unlike anything from other games, such as a walking chainsaw chase or a race against a lump of poo that leaves a luscious brown trail in its wake.

Oh yeah, there are lasers too. Don't investigate those too closely either.

As brilliant as this all is, it’s not to say the game is without fault. The game does not let you bind your own keyboard controls and insists you use the default layout. It’s not impossible to work with, but the controls may not be laid out in a fashion that is most comfortable for you. The first screen you encounter does recommend the use of a controller for the optimum experience though, and we’d be inclined to agree with it. We were also baffled by the game’s Steam activation code being printed on the installation disc. The disc was already in our machine, initialising installation when we were prompted for the code. Needless to say though, these are miniscule issues compared to the tidal wave of greatness the rest of the game and the Ultra Edition extras bring.

The presentation of this entire game package is excellent, from the brilliant packaging and bonus material to the fantastic animations between worlds and boss fights. It’s all presented in a very cute way that highlights the sinister actions of an evil foetus that wears suit-like battle armour in his pursuit of harming a chunk of heroic meat.

Super Meat Boy is reaction based platforming at its very best. The challenging nature of each level means you feel a real buzz when you navigate hazards by mere pixels. It is obvious that Super Meat Boy was a labour of love for Team Meat. The Ultra Edition is definitely worth the £7 or so extra over the download only version. The extras will make you smile to the point of inspiring guilt next time you lean over the hob to cook a raw steak.

• Format: XBLA, PC
• Unleashed: Out Now
  
• Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
• Developer: Supergiant Games
• Players: 1
• Site: http://supergiantgames.com/?page_id=242

“Proper story’s supposed to start at the beginning,” rumbles the narrator, as Bastion’s albino-haired hero slumbers on a chunk of rock in the sky. “Ain’t so simple with this one.”

The opening lines ring true, and odds are you’ve never played a game like this before. The Kid (it’s the only name he’s got) picks himself up and takes a good look around.

It’s a beautiful land, torn apart as it is. Crumbling stone and twisting plants join with scarcely recognisable ruins to hang suspended in the air, coloured with a palette that reeks of mystery and a touch of old beauty. Some great disaster known as the Calamity did a real number on the place. The ground appears before the Kid’s feet as he walks, which sometimes goes awry when he gets unfairly stranded somewhere with nothing but death to save him. Still, taking the overhead camera into consideration, it’s not a bad way to keep him on track.

No joke, that kid can sleep through anything.

Before long he stumbles upon a long-lost hammer and starts smashing things straight away.

“It’s a touching reunion,” remarks the narrator with a voice of superb gravel and bass.

See, everything the Kid does is told by this narrator in a story-like fashion. Take a swing at a gasfella – one of the violent survivors of the Calamity – and he’ll relate some of their tragic situation. Lose a chunk of health in the fight and he’ll mention the Kid’s scrapes and bruises. Never overbearing (let alone unwelcome), the narrator tells the whole tale top to bottom. It’s a straight-up fascinating way to spin a video game yarn and lends Bastion its standout feature.

So the narrator does his thing while the Kid does his own; namely, fighting. The effect isn’t unlike a typical top-down RPG: weapon in hand, he strikes and dodges in quick spurts, timing a damaging counter with his shield every now and then. You’d be pardoned to mistake the combat as simple – even shallow – but you’d also be wrong. It takes wits and strategy to keep up the pace, and the Kid has to contend with dropping floor panels, screaming swamp beasts, and treacherous airship rides. It’s not especially punishing, but it’s no walk in the park either.

In a world this broken, it only makes sense to break it some more.

Of course, the Kid doesn’t stop with hammers; a repeater is found soon enough, which opens up a world of long-range tactics. This particular weapon won’t let him move an inch while firing, but it unloads a round like you wouldn’t believe. Bunches of other weapons can be snatched up too, including the sure-shot breaker’s bow and a vicious war machete, and they’re each as unique as they are effective. The Kid manages to lug around two at a time; choosing the rights ones can be a matter of life or death.

But at the end of the day, it’s not about the bloodshed; it’s about the Bastion. If it can be fixed, so can this whole mess. The Kid returns to the safe haven after every mission, constructing useful buildings when he has the chance. The Arsenal lets him pick through his weapon collection, the Forge powers up said weapons using supplies found along the road, the Distillery offers spirits to grant secret skills, and a handful of other places are worth checking out in their own right. The Kid’ll need money for all this grandeur, so keeping an eye out for shiny bits of currency isn’t a half bad idea.

It's safe up here on the Bastion, but how long can that last?

Tying this cracked world together is a story far beyond its downloadable peers. Always subtle and complimented by the narrator’s brusque commentary, the Kid’s tale is mournful and wide open to interpretation. It’s liable to move you somewhere deep inside; those of a less manly disposition may shed a tear come its close. The music, described by its own creator as acoustic frontier trip-hop, fits the tale like a comfy glove and deserves to be heard time and time again.

In fact, the game deserves the same treatment, so it’s fortunate nobody will be left out in the cold when the end pops up. Creative challenges tempt the Kid with fancy prizes and a New Game Plus mode lets him start afresh with all those precious weapons and skills in tow. Yes indeed, boredom will have a nasty time coming out on top in this brawl.

Breaking down garbage in a time limit has more strategy to it than you may imagine.

Above all, Bastion is one of those games you just can’t forget. It does things never before tried and does them well. Strong and deceptively deep action props up a story that thrives in a rich setting. It’s a bold start for Supergiant Games, who’ve managed to do a lot with a little. So go on and give the Kid a hand with putting his world back together; it’s a trip you won’t regret taking.

• Format: 3DS
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Nintendo
• Developer: Nintendo/Grezzo
• Players: 1
• Site: http://zelda.com/ocarina3d/#/home

Lots and lots of games were released between 1998 and now. Likeable gems, piles of fuming rubbish, lauded classics, and all manner of titles saw the light of day — but then there’s The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Even the most soulless gamers agreed that it was something special. This 3DS remake of the game holds up alarmingly well and possesses every grain of magic it was remembered for back on the old Nintendo 64. Toss aside both your 3D and rose-tinted glasses, for you’ll need neither pair to enjoy this classic among classics.

Most of us know the fabled quest by now: a boy from a mystical forest of peace is pulled into a grand adventure of heroism with the ultimate goal of saving the fair Princess Zelda and defeating Ganondorf the black-hearted villain. The plot hasn’t changed a bit and that’s nothing to complain about; it’s a strong story that offers more than a few memorable characters and poignant moments as it leads you from dungeon to dungeon.

That, after all, is the meat of the game: solving the puzzling dungeons and overthrowing the bosses that lurk within. Aside from the Water Temple (which now has colour-coded doors to keep your addled brains from falling out), the structure hasn’t been fiddled with much. You’ll still target skeletons and duel them to the death (or undeath as the case may be), hit switches to activate moving platforms, and find keys that open locked doors. Some conventions are starting to feel aged (notably the inflexible camera), but the complex yet perfectly ordered rooms and hallways are brilliantly designed, ensuring a satisfying flow of cognitive stimulation and killing things.

You think a measly rock will take down the Hero of Time? Boulder-dash! (Heh heh.)

Of course, life outside these perilous caves is just as rewarding. Hyrule is a huge place, positively stuffed to the brim with secrets. You might discover a hidden route to the Lost Woods while bombing rocks in the Goron city, which in turn could lead you to a fairy fountain– but you don’t have anything with which to catch one of the healing sprites! This won’t do, and so a crusade to find an empty bottle begins. It’s this sense of joyful exploration that makes Ocarina of Time so enthralling, even if you’ve already explored every nook and cranny before.

The world becomes even bigger when Link is transported seven years in the future and finds himself to be a strapping young man. Hyrule changes along with him and reacts to events caused in the past, allowing you to swap between the two forms at will. All of this legwork and fabric-of-the-universe-tearing can wear you out now and then, but a swift horse, a teleporting ocarina, and a new hint system do wonders to keep things moving.

It’s a beautiful place, this Hyrule, and it’s been completely redone with the utmost care. Link’s newly-constructed character model looks fantastic in a world of sharpened textures and brightened colours. Some areas have been so drastically upgraded that you’ll hardly recognise them, even if the blocky roots and minor glitches still remain. The visuals are taken to the next level with the addition of a brand new dimension: the third one. Now Death Mountain appears to truly loom high above and the Forest Temple’s twisting hallways have depth to them. In fact, the 3D is so effective that it’s jarring to switch back to the ordinary, flat world. Anti-aliasing and frame rate do take a hit with it turned on, but the result is well worth the trouble, whether you crank the slider all the way up or nudge it to a subtler setting.

It's hard to believe this place used to look like a Kokiri prison cell.

But we’re not simply talking about a new coat of paint: love it or hate it (we tend to do both), the wacky controller of the Nintendo 64 days is gone, replaced with the elegant 3DS. Not only are the face buttons and circle pad up to the task of providing a smooth ride, but most menus and HUD elements have been moved to the bottom screen. That means the ocarina, map, gear, and item screens can all be accessed with the tap of a button– even the iron boots, which again eases the Water Temple’s potential pain and nausea. Anything with a first-person perspective, such as the slingshot, can optionally be controlled by physically moving the 3DS, which is more accurate and immersive than you might imagine. Doing so can interfere with the 3D, but keeping it aligned with your face isn’t tough. Despite this quirk, the new setup makes for a faster, far more convenient interface, nixing one of Ocarina of Time’s few problems.

It’s worth pointing out that the soundtrack is largely unaltered in all its MIDI charm. Although expertly composed, the music does seem aged next to the spiffy graphics, so a remastered version would hardly go amiss. The ability to choose between old and new graphics would have been nice as well, but it’s hard to complain about a presentation this good.

Dense with polished content, you can dump hours into the game without even realising it, and the captivating setting will keep you from leaving. But don’t worry: when the journey finally comes to a close, you can replay any boss encounter at will or start a new Master Quest file. You’ll find radically altered dungeons rife with difficult riddles and monstrous monsters to overcome in this beefier version of the game, complete with a mirrored world to confuse you further. There’s almost no end to the adventure, and that’s something to be grateful for.

How one game can have so many unforgettable music themes is quite beyond us.

Ocarina of Time stands tall as one of the greatest videogames ever produced, going so far as to best most of today’s finest, and this quality remake only makes it better. Whether you have an encyclopedic knowledge concerning Lake Hylia’s population of fish or you’ve never touched a Zelda game in your life, this is something worthy of owning. There’s no better way to jump into the series and, nostalgia or not, you’ll be hard pressed to find a game more memorable, wondrous, and downright fun than Ocarina of Time 3D.