As anybody who owns all three machines knows, Sony’s PS3 DualShock – while a perfectly good joypad – is a few small steps behind the Xbox 360 and Wii controllers in terms of precision. This is only really noticeable when playing FPS games, and as such, various companies offer FPS-specific alternatives. Joe’s already given you the lowdown on the Eagle Eye mouse & keyboard adapter; who’s next?

Wave coyly in greeting at Gioteck’s HF-1 controller for PS3.

Many gamers will fall in love with the HF-1 before they’ve even tried using it. It’s Bluetooth (though you can use it as a wired controller should you so desire)? Ace! Triggers for L2 and R2? A ‘flip switch’ that gives you the option of swapping the L1 & R1 functions with those of L2 & R2 (thereby making the triggers the default fire & aim buttons for most games)? Proper analogue sticks? Oh look, the tops are even shaped like aiming reticules, bless! And it’s been given a lick of camouflage paint. Hmm, the sticks are positioned differently; you know, it kind of looks like…

Yes, the military flavoured elephant in the room here is that the HF-1 seems to have been modelled on the official 360 controller. The fact is however that Gioteck are happy to admit this, as they know full well that even diehard PS3 fans (so long as they aren’t disturbingly zealous) grudgingly admit that the 360 has the better joypad, especially for shooters. However, while the HF-1 certainly looks like a 360 controller – despite the ‘turbo’ button guiltily lurking between Start and Select – it doesn’t feel like one.

Flipswitch; the switch that flips.

Gioteck’s offering is slightly bigger, for one; chunkier than either the official Microsoft or Sony options. If you have freakishly large hands, then a) send us a photo, and b) you’ll find that the HF-1 is more comfortable to hold than the DualShock. It’s been lovingly curved in such a way, however, that it’s still comfortable for those who have no trouble with the standard option. Unfortunately, it’s not quite all smiles and sunshine in terms of comfort.

Looking at the indents on top of the analogue sticks, you’d expect them to soothingly cup the ends of your digits like some kind of thumb bra, wouldn’t you? Okay, so you probably wouldn’t use the thumb bra simile, but anyway. If you have impressively manly thumbs like me, you’ll find that in actual fact, the small nubs that give the reticule appearance to the sticks press into your thumbs most of the time you play. Surprisingly perhaps, this isn’t usually a problem; but if you hold down either L3 or R3 while moving (most likely by running in Call of Duty), it can soon start to become uncomfortable.

I for one was willing to forgive this, because the sticks are otherwise better than those on the DualShock. While not quite as lovely as the 360 pad, the dead zones and general ‘tightness’ of the sticks are noticeably superior to those of Sony’s controller. In fact, such was the difference, I felt confident enough to significantly increase the stick sensitivity for Battlefield: Bad Company 2 from that which I’d settled on since release.

There is, however, a slight issue with the face buttons; which require a little more ‘oomf’ than those on the DualShock. Ninety nine times out of a hundred there’s no problem, as you hit the buttons harder than you might think in the heat of the action anyway. That one time in a hundred however – when you hit the button a millisecond too quickly and/or apply 99.9% of the required pressure – is frustrating. This is most likely to happen for actions where a quick tap is all that’s normally required, for example reloading. You do adapt to this, but you shouldn’t really have to.

You naughty, naughty thing.

Of more concern are the shoulder buttons (L1 and R1 by default, but the flip switch changes that). The angle that they’re set at, and the way that they slope, mean that you need to press them at the outer edges (where they’re raised from the body of the controller the most) to guarantee that your input is registered. In short, they don’t always work, and you can’t just let your finger naturally slide straight back in a straight line and press down as you can with the DualShock.

Now, if you’ve researched the HF-1 elsewhere, you may well have come across a veritable legion of criticism; mostly from consumers, sometimes from site reviewers as well. The vast majority of this criticism is centred on the dead zones and laggy input. After testing the HF-1 at length, I don’t doubt that these people are telling the truth; but I suspect that most – possibly all – of them relied on Black Ops to test the controller.

Black Ops was in fact the first game I tested the HF-1 with. All was fine and dandy to begin with; but after 30-40 minutes, the analogue sticks suddenly decided that they found me terribly boring, and wanted to do their own thing. Input lagged terribly, or didn’t seem to correspond with what I was telling the controller to do. My only choices were to a) turn the controller off then on again to reset the sticks, b) use it as a wired controller, which seems to eradicate the problem, or c) switch back to the DualShock. I encountered this issue every time I played, both online and offline.

I have a 60gb PS3 and so, curious at this bizarre software compatibility issue, I tried a PS2 FPS (No One Lives Forever). Same problem; everything fine for about half an hour, then both analogue sticks became mischievous little scamps.

Just in case you didn't know how a USB cable works.

A few hours after writing what I thought was the final draft of this piece, I experienced exactly the same problems in Modern Warfare 2 – despite several lengthy play sessions where the controller worked perfectly. It would seem that in order to guarantee consistent performance across all games, you’ll need to resign yourself to a USB lead – rendering the wireless option somewhat pointless. Presumably, it’s the fact that the HF-1 uses bluetooth rather than infra-red that’s causing the problems.

Finally, it’s important to note that the HF-1 does not feature sixaxis control, making it unsuitable as a permanent replacement controller for all games. There are thankfully few FPS games at time of writing that force you to make use of sixaxis, and certainly none that I’d urge you to run out and buy. The only two I can think of that I’ve played are Killzone 2 (sorry, I just find the Killzone games boring) and Resistance: Fall of Man, which told me to shake my controller like an angry child when my character was set on fire.

If the DualShock is a dowdy yet reliable & ever-loving lady/man, then the HF-1 is their sexy, flirty sibling. You’ll want to get hands-on with HF-1 as soon as you see it/him/her; but be prepared for this dirty flirt to slap you often – and not always in a nice way.

The HF-1 was tested with PS3 firmware version 3.60. It requires two AA batteries (not included) for wireless play; two mid-range alkaline batteries will last roughly half as long as a fully charged DualShock.

There have been so many videogames set during the second world war, it’s quite likely that you’ve played at least one or two. Thanks to the painstaking attention to detail and hunger for historical accuracy, you may even have learned something new about the conflict without realising; the weapons used, the important battles fought, the dates of important events. Be thankful that our children do not rely solely on videogames for their education on such matters for if they did, they would be completely unaware of the Holocaust.

Approximately six million men, women and children were murdered – often literally worked to death – simply because they were Jewish. Millions more were persecuted and killed by the Nazis including (though not limited to) homosexuals, Romani, people of various faiths, and the disabled. A horrific systematic slaughter on an unimaginable scale, it was arguably the most important event of the twentieth century in terms of influence on social and political development. The word ‘genocide’ was not even in use until 1944 (though its author first coined the word in 1943), when the Polish-Jewish legal scholar Raphael Lemkin named and defined it (“the destruction of a nation or of an ethnic group”) in his published work ‘Axis Rule in Occupied Europe’. The human race being what it is, genocide has been perpetrated time and again in places such as Bosnia and Darfur; but the horror of the Holocaust has served to increase worldwide disgust at, and determination to punish and prevent, such actions further than ever.

Though the full extent of Nazi persecution of the Jews was not made clear until the end of hostilities, more than enough was known about this (in addition to Hitler’s megalomania, of course) during the war to mark the fascist Nazi party out as a force that must be stopped at all costs. With the benefit of hindsight, the people of today are able to pore over every last detail, which makes the second world war that rarest of things in our eyes – an undeniably necessary conflict.

So why do few – if any – videogames set during this war mention or in some way refer to the Holocaust?

It’s easy to turn to dark and overly cynical theories, but the truth is most likely that developers are simply scared. They won’t go anywhere near the subject for fear of causing offence, knowing full well that just one mistake could trigger a global outrage. If this is the case, then it’s definitely an attitude I can understand and sympathise with – but not one that I can condone.

Even the surprisingly thoughtful Brothers in Arms games avoid the subject.

I haven’t played every single videogame set during the second world war, so there are perhaps a few that explicitly refer to the Holocaust. If so, they are undeniably in the minority. It should be noted however that there was one game which aimed to tackle the issue head on in an educational, tasteful way – and got shot down in flames before securing a release.

The title I am referring to is ‘Imagination Is The Only Escape’, a DS game that British developer Luc Bernard had developed and was hoping to have hit the shelves. The game was to combine a game world based on the fantasy world of the main character (a Jewish boy living in Nazi occupied France) with educational, historically accurate text. However, it seems that both Nintendo of America and Nintendo of Europe refused to allow the game a release – without even seeing it. Despite scouring the internet I was unable to find any information on this title dated after late 2008, so it seems that it will never see the light of day.

What little was known of this game was intriguing, and it seems to be a real shame that Nintendo killed it off. The false start of Bernard’s title is no excuse for others however, as (a) WWII games were being developed long before 2008, and (b) in all honesty, it would have been more surprising if the family oriented Nintendo did approve a game that directly addresses the Holocaust, especially one for the DS.

If you think that games are art – and if you’re a developer, you probably do – then you shouldn’t for a second be thinking ‘games should stay away from the issue of the Holocaust’. I’m not saying that there should be a game about the Holocaust (though I believe this is possible), but the world of videogames has a duty to at least recognise the fact it happened. There are countless examples of other forms of entertainment handling the subject. For example, the story of Oskar Schindler – the German industrialist who went to great pains to protect his Jewish workers, who numbered well over 1,000 – has been adapted into a novel (Schindler’s Ark) and a film (Schindler’s List). Staying with cinema, we should look to a more recent release for a glimpse of how a videogame acknowledging the issue could successfully be made.

Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Inglourious Basterds’ does not deal directly with the Holocaust itself. The beating heart of the film is Nazi persecution of the Jews however, which drives every moment of the movie. The rage and lust for revenge which fuels the Basterds leads them to kill and torture with gusto, visibly enjoying every moment. In fact, as the film progresses, the viewer may well start to question just how much higher on the moral ground the Basterds are than the Nazis whom they hunt.

As anybody who has seen the film will know, this shot captures perfectly what Inglourious Basterds is all about.

During one brilliant and extremely tense sequence, we are teased with finding out whether or not the leader of the Basterds will keep his word and show mercy to a young, solitary Nazi soldier. When the moment of truth arrives… well, you’ll have to watch the movie to find out.

The point is this: Inglourious Basterds is identifiably a Tarantino movie, and one that you can ‘enjoy’. There are traditional action sequences, and a dark humour runs throughout the entire experience. This is all wrapped up in stylish direction and glossy production values. Does this sound a million miles away from the basic premise of several action games released over the last few years? All that’s missing is one thing; the skilful integration of Nazi persecution of the Jews.

There is of course one very important factor which distinguishes videogames from books, movies, plays etc. which I have yet to acknowledge – interactivity. Yet this is a strength to be played to, not a weakness to fall back on. Games including (though certainly not limited to) Bioshock, Okami, Flower and GTA have shown us very different ways in which videogames can offer a compelling, utterly unique experience. Why not use this vision and skill to handle a serious and important subject that must never, ever be forgotten?

I was going to detail The Milgram experiment here, but instead urge you to investigate the matter yourself. Please do – it is fascinating, and disturbing, in and of itself. You will see why I encourage you to research it in relation to this article.

How best to introduce the Holocaust and/or Nazi persecution of the Jews into the world of videogames? Unfortunately for me, I have neither the skill set nor the experience of a videogame developer. If pushed however I (and many others) could easily come up with rough ideas for those who do. What might they achieve on their own, if only they would try?

I believe that videogames not only could, but should make a concerted effort to look this subject straight in the eyes. There is no precedent – but just because something has not been done before, that is not to say that it can not be done at all.

Who wants some videogames? We do, you do, the people down the street do. Even that bloke who works the till at the supermarket. You know, the one with the funny eye who sounds a bit like Kermit the Frog; he wants some videogames too. Well, Canada’s Department of National Defence also wants some games – 500 of them. Eh, what?

As reported at GamePolitics, Canadian publication The Star has revealed that Canada’s military has put in a hefty order for videogames. “It’s a strange one” Captain Sandra Bourne, who couldn’t or wouldn’t provide a more detailed explanation, admitted to them. If you click here to view the tender request you will see that, much to our amusement, “The delivery is requested ASAP”. So which games are they so desperate to get their hands on?

Predictably perhaps, shooters feature heavily. Gears of War is top of the pops, with 93 copies requested. The two Modern Warfare games combined make up 82 of the games on the list. It seems that nobody wanted Black Ops though; Canada’s army all doubtless read our review and decided that the Infinity Ward titles would be a safer bet.

More hippy friendly games have also been requested, such as Guitar Hero 3 and Rock Band 2. Even Tiger Woods 2011; perhaps after his fall from grace, they’re expecting the latest incarnation to be some kind of cross between Burnout and the infamous GTA ‘Hot Coffee’ minigame…

The Image Says "This Date Matters to the World"

Have you carried out your duty and bought CoD: Black Ops? I ask as it seems that as gamers, and as consumers, we are now expected by everyone, from Activision Blizzard to the world’s media, to go and automatically purchase the latest game. So I ask again, have you gone, taken out a pre-order or filed into your local supermarket and bought it on impulse with the sense that it’s what is expected of you? Do you feel you won’t be able to look other serious gamers in the eye knowing you don’t have the latest version of the FPS bible?

I’m not here to review the game, not least because I haven’t played it. I’ve seen the reviews and they are all saying that its good, but not a 10/10. Whatever; instead I’m concerned with the power this franchise now has over the entire industry.

Of course, before I get on my high horse (before?!) this isn’t a new situation. Years ago, and still to an extent today, people would automatically go out and buy the latest FIFA like a pack of sheep, resulting in the gameplay becoming stagnant. Eventually consumers started to get wise to the  ‘drug’ they had become addicted to and moved to sticking with the version they had or moving to alternative yearly upgrades. The result of this was a slowing of the FIFA franchise in terms of numbers sold, and a renewed effort by EA to revitalise the game. Recent years have shown a huge return both for publisher and consumer as the title has had a couple of major overhauls, resulting in better core gameplay and many more modes within the traditional FIFA offering.

Despite all the hype around the latest Call of Duty, and despite the sales figure for Black Ops being an almost certain success, it is possible that this version of the game is going to be the franchise’s peak. I have said that I haven’t played the game, but I have watched it on various websites showing the first ‘x’ amount of footage. It looks great, great in the same way MW2 looked great. However I do feel I’ve seen and experienced it all before as its the same performance in slightly different clothing and staging. Perhaps I am the only one, but I’m guessing a number of potential purchasers and those who have already purchased the game will feel the same, resulting in next year’s installment holding steady in terms of sales – if not actually seeing those sales decline.

It's ironic that both 'World at War' and 'Black Ops' have zombie modes, as most of its consumers have acted liked Zombies when it comes to buying it. Is the joke on us?

That is, of course, only if CoD doesn’t get a major overhaul. What improvements could be made? Less scripting, and much better AI is a must. There is a clear split between the way Halo plays and the CoD games. However, now might be the time that they start to come together and cross fertilise each other’s franchise. In fact you could argue that Halo Reach has already started to do this. Halo has excelled with having pretty amazing AI, but less set pieces. Halo Reach improved the AI, added more enemies on screen at once, and increased the number of set pieces. The game also incorporated some of the ‘fighting with your comrades’ experience traditionally experienced in the CoD games.

It is clear that the CoD games need to improve the AI. For those of you who have not played Halo Reach, I am not overstating how great the AI is. It’s not perfect, for sure. But being chased by an enemy who then backs off and then takes stock is thrilling, and when victorious very satisfying. Imagine a CoD set in the ‘real world’ (rather than the world of Halo), with the traditional size and execution of the set pieces alongside well executed AI routines. That would be worth getting.

This cross fertilisation of ideas is ironically what has happened in the football game market, as PES and FIFA have both been forced to drastically change to keep the demand for such games alive. It’s also clear who has ‘got’ the need for this process more, with FIFA winning both the consumer’s mind and the critic’s.

The other problem I have with the rollout of this all consuming franchise is it encourages players to start over in the multiplayer world. I’m only level 33 or thereabouts on MW2, having spent quite a lot of money on the download packs. I’m certainly not going to ‘upgrade’ to the new game which will undoubtedly pull me from the MW2 experience. There is only so much time in a day, week or year, and there are other games to play! Really, there are. Yet, what makes the CoD games great are their multiplayer which is fast, intelligent and imaginative. Black Ops adds some great new features, including wagers on experience points, which I’m all for. However, not enough to make me want to start from scratch, and in effect abandon my investment in MW2.

Remember this game? It was great. Lets play it again, but this time set in the 1800s with muskets....

What is the solution? Well some kind of CoD ‘career mode’ would be great where I can build up an online profile and have a consistent career rank. Basic multiplayer with any CoD title would be free, but a CoD Plus account would allow me to pool my XP; a service with a price that’s worth paying for. Over time that profile could be carried into other possible areas of CoD such as a persistent war type game, like MAG, if they ever make one.

So before the fanboys attack me, let’s go over my position on the CoD franchise. Am I a fan? For sure, I own more than one title in the franchise, and even have the limited edition MW2 console. Do I think the basic gameplay has tired and needs refreshing? You bet. Am I starting to get annoyed with the lack of continuity in the multiplayer, when it’s clear that each version is an upgrade on the previous build? Yes, affirmative.

What would I pay for this CoD Plus? £5-£15 a year along with some other freebies, perhaps. Beta trials, some exclusive weapons and maybe a discount on map packs.

My question to you is this; how much duty do you really have to CoD and would you be willing to make the investment if called upon?

• Format: PS3 (version reviewed), 360, PC, Wii, DS
• Unleashed: Out Now
• Publisher: Activision
• Developer: Treyarch
• Players: 1-4 (offline), 2-18 (online, including splitscreen)
• Site: http://www.callofduty.com/hub

World at War was a bit of a mess. Offline, grenade spamming; online, the unwise inclusion of tanks and a few unpopular maps – all wrapped up in an over-familiar WWII dressing. Can Treyarch really have done much better with Black Ops?

What must be said before anything else is that, in all fairness, the developers have put some real effort into giving you value for money. The campaign could last you up to twice as long as that of Modern Warfare 2; Zombies make a welcome return; there are two hidden games (twin stick shooter Dead Ops Arcade and text adventure Zork); and joining the CoD classics such as Team Deathmatch, Search & Destroy and Free for All are brand new online modes with some great ideas. Unfortunately, the fresh new ideas seen both online and off are in the clutches of stale old problems.

The solo campaign is presented for the most part as a series of flashbacks. Kudos to Treyarch for capitalising on the opportunity to give the player a decent variety of environments and missions; yes, you’ll be running down streets, through corridors, and across battlefields with a gun in your hand. But you’ll also be piloting various vehicles, taking part in semi-interactive cutscenes, playing stealth sections that are actually fun to play, and more often than not working closely with allies rather than acting as a one man army. There are even a few historical figures thrown into the mix. At its best, the Black Ops campaign gives you a feeling of being in the middle of a big-budget movie (albeit a dumb yet fun one which makes little sense if you stop to examine it). Sadly, the highs are outnumbered by the lows.

In a bid to emphasise this Hollywood atmosphere, your character has been given a voice and a large chunk of the script. However, all the American characters’ voices and personalities instantly meld into one homogeneous blob, making it almost impossible to tell who’s saying what without the (error littered) subtitles. Of more concern is the AI – or rather, lack thereof. Friend and foe alike are completely unable to cope with unscripted behaviour. Allies will often lean into your line of sight, and keeping your distance in the interests of a better shot can lead to comical situations; enemies will sometimes rush forward to get closer to you. On rare occasions an enemy and an ally can be taking cover around the same object, firing their guns in opposite directions without being aware of one another.

Challenge Anneka goes hardcore for the 21st century.

Grenade spamming is not an issue, but the equally undesirable boil of infinite enemy spawning is. Only a handful of such instances exist in the game, but these instances will sometimes force you to run forward into enemy fire. On Veteran difficulty, where two shots or sometimes just one can kill you, this is completely unacceptable. It’s a cheap and lazy way to lengthen the experience that we shouldn’t be seeing in 2010. On a related note, the invisible tripwires that activate finite spawn points are sometimes poorly placed. On three separate occasions, we saw enemies pop into existence before our very eyes – twice just a few feet away. Perhaps there are details of a molecular transporter hidden somewhere in the intel…

Of course the majority of players will spend most of their time with the multiplayer modes and again, it’s a mixed bag. CoD staples, deathmatches et al, don’t make the transition all that smoothly. The gameplay is still recognisably and immediately CoD, but the guns don’t feel as varied as those in both Modern Warfares, nor do any of them feel like they pack the same punch.

Worse still are the graphics. They’re noticeably inferior to MW2 and while this shouldn’t matter, it does. Firstly, the lack of sharpness makes spotting enemies from a distance harder than it should be. Secondly, the dull and limited palette shared amongst player models and environments can often make stationary adversaries (i.e. campers) difficult to see immediately. When you combine that with the fact that each map is crammed full of corners and hidey holes, we can imagine Black Ops deathmatches becoming as much about camping as a Graham Norton simulator would be.

Hope is promised in the overhaul given to the online modes in other areas. The ‘CoD Points’ which you earn alongside, and in a much lower proportion to XP are used to ‘buy’ weapons (as usual, unlocked as you level up), attachments and perks (all immediately available for purchase once you’ve unlocked Create a Class). They also buy ‘Challenges’ which can earn you more if, for example, you get a certain number of kills with a specific attachment within a limited amount of accumulated playtime. These points are also used to buy your way into ‘Wager Matches’, which is where the biggest changes are apparent.

Tag, you're i - er, woops.

The basic premise is: six player deathmatch – the top three players get winnings, the bottom three nothing. The game modes here are completely new, our personal favourites being Sharpshooter and One in the Chamber. Sharpshooter gives everybody the same weapons, which are changed every 45 seconds (weapons in each match are random). In One in the Chamber players are given a pistol, a knife, one–hit kills and just three lives. You only have one bullet per life, but one kill means one more bullet. These brand new modes are more than welcome, and great fun – but just six players? Free for All only?

As for the playercards (customised by spending CoD points) which represent players in lobbies…ugh. Even the best ones look like something a small child cobbled together with a cheap Crayola set from Poundland.

Black Ops is not a bad game by any means. It’s a good game. However, when the inevitable comparisons with Modern Warfare 2 are made, this falls just a little short in almost every way.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d like to remind our readers that Tarquin’s opinions do not necessarily coincide with those of anybody else at Critical Gamer. Tarquin’s views are only guaranteed to represent the views of Tarquin.

You’ve seen the movie Snakes On A Plane, right? No, me neither. It is by all accounts a terrible film however, that only got made due to internet hype that never translated into ticket sales. A shoddy unprofessional effort, that somehow snagged Samuel L. Jackson so it had a professional, talented face to show to the world. This reminds me of the games industry, and its laughable attempts to convince governments and mainstream media that it mass produces valid art.

I’m passionate about videogames, but that doesn’t mean that I have to consider them an art form. I love my nan, but that doesn’t change the fact that she stinks of piss. Sure, conceptually you could convincingly argue that games such as Flower, Limbo, Bioshock and Everyday Shooter are art. Aesthetically you could waffle on about games like Okami, Valkyria Chronicles, LittleBigPlanet, Wind Waker, and MadWorld. Nonetheless, the vast majority of videogames are uninspired and uninspiring – 99% of games are to art what shit is to haute cuisine.

Let’s look at what you might first think of when you hear the word ‘art’; paintings, statues, fuzzy felt, that kind of thing. Traditional art is primarily about manipulating emotions, and innovation. This is often (though admittedly not always) why great artists prosper and piss poor ones dissolve into obscurity. Innovation is an unexploded bomb waiting to go off at any second, unfortunately, and is not always a good thing. That’s why modern art has evolved into something that could reward you with the Turner prize for recording a wet fart in a darkened room.

All publishers want to manipulate is your bank account, and innovation? Innovation in the games industry? Hah! I’ll gladly admit that things are slowly getting better, but not by much. Just look at Sony and Microsoft copying Nintendo with their latest motion sensing input devices (kudos to Microsoft for simultaneously copying Sony). Games themselves fare no better at all. The industry is constantly recycling the same five games:

• Run and gun shooter with musclebound oiks and dynamic cover (Gears of War)
• Open – world platformer/shooter, with vehicles to steal or free running to indulge in (GTA/Assassins Creed)
• FPS with regenerating health, black and white simple good guys/bad guys, heavily scripted set pieces, lots of foreigners/aliens to shoot, and/or instant melee kills (XP obsessed online multiplayer compulsory) (Call of Duty/Halo)
• Racer that combines real world cars with arcade elements (MSR [AKA Project Gotham])
• Dull minigame compilation (for the sake of argument, Mario Party)

In addition, true art now and again makes a real effort to make an important point or achieve an ambitious goal. Surrealism was about more than painting badgers shitting pianos; it was a concerted effort by a group of artists, encompassing several different mediums, to undermine society through the power of their art. Leader of the movement, André Breton, even wrote a manifesto.

The Persistence Of Memory. Salvador Dali, 1931.

Another important thing to remember is that art lasts. Many classic movies from the first half of the 20^th century can be easily found and purchased for home viewing, and are often shown on television. Some highly revered pieces of music and traditional art have been preserved and appreciated for centuries. If the games industry is serious about presenting its output as art, it needs to stop relying so heavily on the advancement of technology and discontinuation of formats. For example, Super Mario Land on the Gameboy was released in 1989, and went on to sell 14 million units worldwide. Today however – just over 20 years later – both it and its host console are out of production, with no way of easily and legally playing it.

If the industry can’t show any respect for itself, how does it expect anybody else to show any?

The industry and the games it pumps out do not, as a rule, have any ideals higher than making a quick buck. Derivative and unimaginative shit make up the bulk of what sits on shop shelves – even the games that are fun to play. The videogames market today is a whirlpool of short – lived extremes; depressingly shallow family – friendly mini games jostle for sales alongside games that throw misguided street talk, pixellated gore, and blocky tits in your face. There are still of course intelligent games in there – somewhere.

Publishers and console manufacturers are trying to force feed the world at large Snakes On A Plain Biscuit (see, the title wasn’t just a half arsed play on words). A harmless luxury enjoyed by millions completely hidden by poisonous, homogeneous, sinister looking things that make people keep their distance. And this is supposed to be art? The worst thing is, many people believe that it is.

It’s an emotionally disturbing tragedy, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Oedipus first attempted re – entry.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d like to remind our readers that Tarquin’s opinions do not necessarily coincide with those of anybody else at Critical Gamer. Tarquin’s views are only guaranteed to represent the views of Tarquin.

Hey look, a disclaimer just for me. Bless ‘em. So, my first article for Critical Gamer attracted a fair amount of attention, both here and at N4G. It’s nice to be noticed – even by sociopathic nerds.

That doesn’t tell the whole story, though. First of all the majority of comments that referred to me directly were somewhat negative. Secondly, most of the comments on N4G didn’t refer to me and, to be honest, most of them didn’t even acknowledge the existence of my article. I had inadvertently set off a mini fanboy war between PS3 and 360 zealots, which seems to be even easier than I had suspected. I repeat the sentiment of my previous article: people are idiots.

That said, one of the first commenters on my article here at CG actually made a good point. He said, in a nutshell, that the worthless cretins who post abusive, brainless comments on websites are the vocal minority. I’d like to believe this is true, and so choose to do so. The problem is, it doesn’t matter how delicious your bowl of divine and hideously expensive soup is. If there’s a few rat turds floating at the top, that’s what grabs your attention.

Vocal minority they may be, but there are too many thousands of these venomous shits for my liking. They defend their console/computer with more passion, I dare say, than they would defend their parents. What kind of lives do these people lead? Perhaps lives like this:

Fourteen year old Johnny Bottomfeeder loves his games machine. The games with adult ratings are the best, because they have BLOOD and TITS and LOTS OF FUCKING SWEARING and are therefore awesome. He’s an unpopular underachiever at school but that’s okay, because he’s on fourth prestige in Modern Warfare 2 multiplayer. He rocks. He absorbs all the physical and emotional abuse he receives at school like a superhero, and shoots it back out across the internet via his keyboard and headset. Love is for other people; all he needs is to pwn n00bs. He lives for his weekends, which are a hedonistic marathon of gaming and epic masturbation. He is doomed to die a lonely death in his parent’s house before his fiftieth birthday, choking on his fifth bag of Doritos whilst watching an Adam Sandler ‘comedy’.

Why are these pathetic losers allowed to scuttle around in our hobby? Why are they permitted to carry on hurling homophobic and/or racist and/or otherwise needlessly vulgar abuse at each other and the rest of us? Both PSN and Xbox Live have systems in place to report offensive behaviour. Both Sony and Microsoft have been known to ban people from their online services, either temporarily or permanently. Whenever you hear about such bans, it is virtually always for fiddling about with a console’s firmware or hardware. Okay, fine. But why are such a tiny percentage of these abusive, brainless jizzwastes punished for their behaviour? Let me provide a sound effect to give you a little clue.

Kerching!

Modders and pirates definitely are in the minority of gamers and besides, publishers and console manufacturers make little to no money from their activities. They are banned (or more accurately, their modified machines are banned) in the hope of forcing them to become paying customers. If somebody is using internet anonymity to persecute an individual because of their race or sexual orientation, why should Sony or Microsoft care? These fascists – in – waiting are paying customers. It’s all cheerily ignored. So it’s certain that nothing will be done when people try to ruin your online experience with less controversial insults and taunts.

This army of immature underachievers is here to stay, so get used to them. And if you’re one of them and you’ve got a problem with anything I’ve ever said or done – I don’t care. Your father should have emptied you into a tissue instead of into your mother.

What? I’m holding back here.

What we all need to do – and yes, I need to cut through my own apathy to take part myself too – is report these morons every single time we spot one. Whenever you hear the usual crap slithering through a headset, make a note of the ID/gamertag and report it. Though it’s less of a problem, even note the IDs with offensive clan tags and/or usernames. Somebody with a clan tag such as ‘BNP’ or ‘IRA’ or a username such as ‘i_hate_[insert race of your choice]‘ should be brought to the attention of the company hosting the online service. Hell, even report people who indulge in less vile harassment. You are after all encouraged to report anybody who intentionally, needlessly spoils your ‘online experience’. I said that this behaviour is ignored, and that’s true. If enough complaints are made about this sort of behaviour though, there’s a chance that the companies will start to get nervous about what people might do if enough of them get sick of the abusive minority. They might – good god, no – take their money elsewhere!!!!

Then again, they might simply continue to sit pretty in the knowledge that a flock of consumers will put up with anything that they’re told they have to put up with. Maybe, if, perhaps, although… it’s your call. Are you prepared to put a little effort in for a slim chance of success, or are you content to sit back and do nothing for guaranteed failure?

PSN user complaint form

What to report on Xbox Live, and how to report it

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d like to remind our readers that Tarquin’s opinions do not necessarily coincide with those of anybody else at Critical Gamer. Tarquin’s views are only guaranteed to represent the views of Tarquin.

So, Microsoft will soon be increasing the prices of Xbox Live Gold subscriptions. Isn’t that terrible? Doesn’t it make you angry? I bet if you’re a Gold subscriber you’re going to do something about it, aren’t you? E mail Microsoft and detail exactly why you think the price rise is unjustified. Or perhaps you’ll ring Xbox customer support, and demand to speak to somebody with some authority so they can explain it to you directly over the phone. No, no, I know; you and a group of friends will start an internet campaign to boycott Xbox Live until the price rises are cancelled. Perhaps you’ll go a stage further and hold out for prices more reasonable than the current ones.

Or perhaps you’ll just whinge and whine on internet forums and in the comment boxes of articles. Perhaps you’ll complain loudly without hesitating to pull your trousers down as Bill Gates approaches, a smile on his face and a sharpened vibrator in his hand.

You PS3 fanboys can stop smirking, too. How many of you bought your console on the day of release, while it was carrying that preposterous price tag? Here in the UK, thousands of morons flocked to the shops to pay £425 for a console with one controller and no games. Idiots.

Oh yes, people moaned and people cried. People roared in disgust at such an outrageous RRP. Most of the same people were fighting to be first in line on day one, however. This is because, generally speaking, people are stupid. As individuals, human beings are far more shrewd and complex than marketing executives (a whole other species) give them credit for. Put people in some sort of large group, however – ‘gamers’, for example – and their IQs will tend to plummet to Big Brother contestant levels.

I bet you’ve forgotten about the Modern Warfare 2 debacle already, haven’t you? Allow me to kickstart your fickle little brains. It was announced, with plenty of notice, that the RRP would be significantly more than most gamers tend to pay for their new releases (£15 more in the UK and before anybody says, yes I know the RRP was technically only £5 more than normal, so fuck off). Within seconds of the announcement, forum crawlers and other internerds were inexpertly bashing their keyboards with rage, telling each other how angry they were and completely failing to use correct spelling and grammar whilst doing so. Very few people informed the game’s publisher, Activision, of their displeasure.

The game managed to break various sale records even before release, and still more a few short weeks after.

To recap: if you complained about Modern Warfare 2′s pricing and paid so much as a single penny more than you usually would upon release, you’re stupid. If you complained about the PS3′s release price but still paid it, you’re stupid. If you’re complaining about the Xbox Live Gold price hikes but have already resigned yourself to paying them, you’re stupid. If none of this applies to you, don’t worry. I do not doubt for a second that I could find several examples in your purchase history that would emphatically prove to my satisfaction that you are stupid.

With me so far?

Xbox Live Gold subscription fees to increase. Xbox 360 owners impotently mumbling amongst themselves about it. PS3 online features remain free, with an optional subscription service that offers certain extra benefits. What’s missing from this picture?

Please, stop your slack – jaw dribbling whilst scratching yourselves. I’ll tell you what’s missing. Sony taking advantage of this discontent, that’s what’s missing. I only know a little about the world of marketing and PR (thank god) but surely this is a golden opportunity for Sony to scream from the proverbial rooftops about their free online play, chat, and messaging? Why is this not happening? I’ve had a bit of a think about the situation, and these seem to be the three most likely explanations:

1. Everybody who works for Sony in every country in the world is unaware of the confirmed Xbox Live price rises.
2. All of the Sony PR and marketing employees are having a holiday on the Isle of Wight, listening to old Eddie Cochran records and enjoying a range of interesting cheeses.
3. Sony are waiting to see how easily Microsoft get away with the price increases for future reference.

In one of his interviews with Critical Gamer, Michael Pachter gives a bit of a wake up call. He points out that maintaining an online service is a lot of work with a lot of money involved, and Sony “isn’t so profitable that it can afford to be magnanimous forever”. This was shortly before the official announcement of PlayStation Plus; but with a seemingly small proportion of PSN users opting in to the service, and with so many paying so much for Xbox Live Gold, do you honestly believe that Sony would never consider making the subscription fee compulsory?

If that ever happened, the overwhelming majority of PSN users would pay it. I know it, Sony know it, and you know it whether you’re prepared to admit it or not. There would be a hurricane of criticism and protest to begin with, oh yes. There would be a veritable army of friendless geeks with nothing more important in their worthless, empty lives that would spend every day for a month telling everybody who’ll listen (and many who won’t) that they’ll boycott PSN if the fee becomes compulsory. Sony will apologise profusely yet stand firm; the day will come when the fee becomes compulsory; and those who complained the loudest will pay at the last minute, realising that without their online interactions they will have no way of pretending they’re worth something to the world and would therefore be morally obligated to commit suicide.

I suppose that deep down, such people liken these financial shaftings to being raped by an elderly relative whilst visiting them on holiday. It’s a nasty, traumatic experience; but one that they manage to resign themselves to by suppressing the memory until the next year.

What do I suggest to remedy the situation? Nothing. I can’t do anything. You’re all fucking idiots.

Thanks for reading!

For those who are passionate about video games there are few genres that elicit quite the same level of contempt as the much maligned ‘edutainment’ game. This is not without good reason. Although most would be unable to recall the last time they purchased a product bearing that phrase that promises only half of what it suggests, we have undoubtedly tried at least one in the salad days of our youth. Perhaps when in a classroom, the lone antiquated PC in the corner provided the only alternative to having to actually study, for example. This rejection of associating learning with video games is completely understandable, but the potential that games have to expand our minds and increase our knowledge is something that shouldn’t be shied away from. Instead through providing an enjoyable environment in which we can develop an interest in learning, educating the player is something which could enhance the experience rather than detract from it.

It can be argued that one of the first, massively successful games that served to educate as well as entertain was Medal of Honor: Frontline. Though there had been other WWII games before it, the graphical prowess of the PS2 meant that for the first time console gamers were getting an experience that had a sense of authenticity and immersion. In particular the haunting opening scene that replicated the experience of an Allied soldier as he attempted to storm the beaches of Normandy on D-Day was praised by gaming journalists and the mainstream press alike as a way for the young people to get a sense of what it was like on that fateful day. It’s true that both Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers had done much the same thing already, but as a console game it opened up the experience to an entirely different audience. Through its use of archive footage from the time it not only attempted to demonstrate what it was like at the time, but to put it into some kind of context of how the war was being conducted. The dedications to the people who had lost their lives in the conflict in the closing credits served as an important reminder that this was more than just a game.

Now it is difficult to look back on the genre with the same sense of awe. Following the mass saturation of the WWII shooter genre, consumers became tired of fighting the same campaigns. The archive footage which had once inspired, no longer held the same emotional leverage. With each take on the most devastating conflict in history, the necessary ‘gamey’ aspects of the mechanics such as health packs and regenerative health began to grate more and more. People grew tired of WWII and so the Science Fiction shooter rose in popularity as did the modern military shooter. Still, it is important to remember that they educated many people about that era which can only be seen as a positive. For all the improvements in graphical detail, it is hard to suggest that a game such as Modern Warfare 2 does the same thing, with its emphasis on more fantastical action movie scenarios.

There couldn’t be a more different game to Medal of Honor, but Eternal Sonata bore the same sincere desire to educate the player about a subject the development team felt passionate about.

As director Hiroya Hatsushiba put it: “People who play games and people who love classical music are not necessarily sharing [the] same type of interests. Most people in Japan know the name of Chopin; however, most of the people who know of Chopin think he is just some kind of a great music composer without knowing any more about him. Most of them have heard Chopin’s music but not a lot could put his name to it immediately. By creating a colorful fantasy world in Chopin’s dream, I was hoping that people would get into this game easily and also come to know how great Chopin’s music is.”

The game is about as traditional a Japanese RPG as you could imagine, but that is a framework for a genuine passion about the man’s life on which the game is based. In fact this desire to educate the audience about Chopin is almost a little too earnest. Between chapters the game displays lengthy passages on periods of Chopin’s life and how the events that shaped his life inspired the music that he created. They are incredibly poignant, touching revelations about a fascinating man, and the game does at least attempt to make the parts of the game a reflection of the information which it gives about Chopin. It is unfortunately a rather clumsy way of educating the gamer and the educational aspect is jarringly separated from the gameplay. One of the main reasons it still succeeds is that the soundtrack is obviously very powerful. I would be surprised if anyone who played and enjoyed the game didn’t have a greater respect and appreciation for his music after they had finished it.

The problems that are posed by choosing to base a game on a historical figure, period or conflict is clearly leading developers to ignore the potential it has. They run the risk of alienating, offending or patronizing gamers and by basing it on history the natural assumption is that it constrains them in some way. Whatever kind of game Six Days in Fallujah was going to be, and may turn out to be if it is released, its reception before it was even seen by the public has proved that there are significant challenges to setting a game within a real, historical context. In fact, with a more creative mindset a lot more could be done to educate us in an entertaining way. That doesn’t include switching the name of Iraq to a generic sounding fictional Middle-Eastern country in order to avoid controversy.

Make a dating simulation about the life of Van Gough, a train simulator game about the Crimean War, a Harvest Moon game set in the Middle Ages, or an Ace Attorney game in The Hague. Educate and challenge us. The fact that I know more about the history of Ivalice than I do about the country in which I was born, Singapore, is not something of which I am proud.

We thought that there weren’t nearly enough podcasts on the internet, so we’ve started our own. Hurrah! In this, our very first podcast:

• Shake your fists! As you agree or disagree with the Modern Warfare 2 vs Bad Company 2 opinions within.
• Nod your head sagely! As three of us have our say on the prospect of PlayStation Move and Natal.
• Get Excited! As we discuss LittleBigPlanet 2.
• Scratch your head in confusion! As you hear how the British will overthrow their government via the sale of biscuits.

Critical Talk is hosted, edited, and produced by Steven (who also wrote the music). He is joined here by Michael and Anthony.