An armchair view of E3 2012: EA

EA Conference: June 4th 9:00pm GMT


I think what we’re all wondering is just how much EA will apologise for Origin this year and whether or not they will show a trailer for the DLC ending to Mass Effect 3. Let’s see what happens.

  • Ours is a little different.” Yes, like not starting on time and making me miss all the pre-amble. Thanks whatever your name is again!

  • His jacket is done up so I’m happy about that. His microphone is huge and overcompensating.

  • Onto the first EA game of the night in the form of a trailer. Dead Space 3.

  • I’m not that familiar with these games but it looks more like Lost Planet to me. Also isn’t this quite quick for a sequel? Also caught sight of what I think was co-op gameplay.

  • Someone on stage now to talk about the game.

  • Yup, drop-in co-op like all good survival horror games need to be scary. That was sarcasm, by the way.

  • On stage co-op demo of Issac and friend finding a way through a dank looking facility.

  • Pointless swearing shows it’s a super serious game.

  • They exit into a nice looking snowy vista to fight incredibly scary helicopters and gun-wielding humans. Eventually remembering it’s supposed to be about monsters and another swear word later a rather large boss one appears. Dead Gears of War Space 3.

  • Audience applaud out of sheer confusion.

  • Desperate last minute attempt to be scary after the previous gameplay. Coming February 2013.

  • Looks like a terrible American Rugby game next. This is terribly overly dramatic. Why isn’t he looking at the camera? I’m enjoying this trailer because I’m imagining that the guy talking is shouting at the ghost of his dead wife just off screen.

  • Oh, it was Madden 13.

  • Realistic…blah, blah. Something about collisions and driving little guys into big guys. Whatever – wait, what?

  • Some sport guy on stage to blather on about his career rather than, you know, the game. No idea who he is. There was something about biting things.

  • Like any RPG…” What…did he he just say? That was about Madden 13 in which you gain XP and levels. That wasn’t a joke by the way. You really do.

  • Random sport guy walks off not realizing his microphone was still on and saying to the presenter about how cool a job he had.

  • A Maxis game is next presented by a lady. Mentioning Sim City and Sim City Social is coming to Facebook. The audience actually booed.

  • This looks like a Sim City aimed at children.

  • Very half hearted ringer led applause after.

  • New Sim City for the PC, this may be more like it. Gameplay footage in a trailer appears.

  • This looks more impressive and far more in keeping with the Sim City games of old with maybe a little too much The Sims 3 fluffiness.

  • Audience participation to name a burger shop in game? …Right.

  • Out February 2013.

  • Not Peter Moore, please! Argh.

  • Battlefield 3 with Peter Moore and his less annoying friend. I’ve no idea who it is and he hasn’t said a word but that already makes him more palatable.

  • Generic boasting about how well Battlefield 3 did. Get rid of Origin and we’ll talk, Peter.

  • Is he really talking about digital always-on being good?

  • Battlefield Premium, the thing kids can pay for to get nothing worth getting to help fun EA’s world domination. That sentence may have been tainted by bias.

  • Motorcycles coming to B3.

  • Let me be very clear…” There’s always a first time.

  • A trailer for…B3 Premium now plays. Do they have nothing better to do with their stage time than run a commercial? I mean really?

  • Zoning out for a few seconds.

  • Star Wars music playing now, I really hope it’s still Battlefield 3 related. It isn’t, but I so wish it was. It’ll be Star Wars 1313.

  • Going on about how good Old Republic still is in only their minds and the various game updates out and what is coming. New levels, companions and planets filled with quests.

  • They must be desperate for new and old players of the game. A trailer of upcoming stuff follows.

  • Medal of Honor’s Executive Producer takes to the stage, without introducing himself might I add. We’re attacking pirates (the modern kind) apparently. On-stage demo begins.

  • Visuals are impressive, but gameplay wise it’s getting hard to tell the difference between this, B3 and any CoD game. I mean you could swap all them interchangeably under the heading ‘Americans Win’ as far as storyline goes and no one would know better.

  • I may end up shooting myself in the foot here, but I’m happy there’s no unnecessary Kinect integration thus far. They did decide the slow-mo room breaches in the MW games were good enough to borrow for this though.

  • Let’s go finish this.” No trailer or gameplay demo or movie or game or anything should ever have those words spoken in it these days.

  • Now someone is on to talk about ‘global war fighters’ and the multiplayer aspects. It’ll be playable on the event floor and out later this year.

  • A trailer for this multiplayer mode using the Frostbite2 engine plays. It kind of lost me at using Linkin Park for this video.

  • An EA Sports game next. I may not be into sport games but at least they are showing games unlike the Microsoft conference.

  • It’s a social free-to-play model thing launching on Facebook later this year.

  • Some horrible football trailer now showing human beings acting like animals over a game where people kick a ball around a bit.

  • Is he still talking about football? Wow.

  • STILL?! Come on now, EA.

  • It’s finally over. No more football.

  • A new trailer is playing. I think it might still be sport related. A UFC one by the looks of it.

  • The president of the UFC is on to talk about himself probably, but he’s rather large so I won’t insult him or the fact he didn’t dress for the occasion.

  • He walks off soon after to a trailer for the game.

  • Another trailer now. This one doesn’t look sports related….no wait, it’s a game about cars so pretty close. Probably a new Need for Speed.

  • Need for Speed Most Wanted. Matt Webster on stage to chat a bit about it. The premise is to become the most wanted in an open world driving game.

  • A on-stage demo is next. Lots of cars going fast, crashing, taking out those pesky police cars who refuse to let you break the law whenever you want.

  • To be fair – some of those high speed crashes and spinning police cars are almost impressive enough to make me stop imagining their next of kin receiving a depressing phone call.

  • Game out October 30th.

  • Crytek take to the stage next to chat about their new engine. Pictures of Crysis 3 are in the background as he talks but then an actual stage demo begins.

  • Some typical gameplay integrating alien weapons and suit powers, nothing new really.

  • He eventually brings out the rambo style bow to take down a helicopter with an explosive arrow. Some impressive visuals at times and set piece moments.

  • Out February 2013 – a lot of games seem to be aiming for that.

  • The old guy is back, possibly to wrap things up? Yup, that was a rather brief summary.

Unlike Microsoft, EA at least managed to remember that E3 is more about games than anything else. I didn’t like that they whored their premium services and Old Republic so much but so far it’s still the better presentation overall.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Written by Ian D

Misanthropic git. Dislikes: Most things. Likes: Obscure references.

Leave a Reply