The DLC Song (to be sung to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’)

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We present this to you ‘pon Christmas Eve, the day we now celebrate which has its roots in Samhain, an old Celtic festival where people would sacrifice apples, carrots and goats in fear of the dead returning to walk amongst the living… no, wait, sorry; that’s All Hallows’ Eve. Christmas Eve is the day we remember that Santa gave his life to atone for our sins, and returns from the dead on this night to bestow gifts upon us in a display of his love for mankind. Yes, that’s the one. And of course there’s only one thing better than receiving presents; karaoke! So print off several copies of this page, gather your closest family and friends, and have a good ol’ singalong courtesy of Critical Gamer. To be sung to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’, starting with the chorus (which isn’t how it’s supposed to be sung but that’s how everybody does it), we present to you: The DLC Song.

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

We’ve just paid for a brand new game

And now we’ll pay again.

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

If you won’t pay for a Season Pass

Well, you can kiss our arse!

Sell us horse armour,

A new multiplayer map,

The Dark Below is great,

We’ll buy any crap!

Hide it on the disc,

Nothing shall we say,

Even if we whine and moan

We’ll buy it anyway!

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

We’ve just paid for a brand new game

And now we’ll pay again.

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

If you won’t pay for a Season Pass

Well, you can kiss our arse!

Day One editions

Are such a great idea.

Pay first think later,

We’ve no complaints here!

On day of release

Is everything set?

Keep some of the best stuff back

People will pay we bet!

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

We’ve just paid for a brand new game

And now we’ll pay again.

DLC, DLC,

We love DLC.

If you won’t pay for a Season Pass

Well, you can kiss our arse!

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas from all of us at Critical Gamer! Normal service (such as it is) will resume on December 28th. Probably.

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Written by Luke K

Luke plays lots of videogames, now and again stopping to write about them. He’s the editor in chief at Critical Gamer, which fools him into thinking his life has some kind of value. Chances are, if you pick up a copy of the latest Official PlayStation Magazine or GamesMaster, you’ll find something he’s written in there.

Luke doesn’t have a short temper. If you suggest otherwise, he will punch you in the face.

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